Tiredness.

Tiredness pricks your eyes with needle points and creeps into you limbs dragging lethargy in its wake.

Long Walks and Chinese Lanterns

The cold had already ran its fingernails down the tips of my fingers until they were numb, even inside the knitted wool of the gloves i'd torn wrapping paper off just that morning.
'Its beautiful.' The sound of my voice held its note in my ears for a fraction of a second before dissipating quickly into the night around me. A small orange glow floated easily above me, flickering. The stunning simplicity of its light cut straight through the air, leaving no trace or path behind it. I didnt have to strain my eyes to look at it, the everescent orange flame stood out vividly against the monotone of white on black.
Sometimes the stars seem so far away.

Nothing much depends on this.

You will never fail to change the pure quality of the rain; from irregular cold droplets staining my hair and rolling leisurely down your cheek to sheeting meltwater, drowning both of us; and the heat of the damp air. I feel my feet pressing into the ground as the ebullience of the blackened water winks at me with tear filled eyes, and my ears ring in the radiating silence as I stand facing away from you watching the last flutter of the tawny gold sun shyly leaves us in peace behind the folds of the softly shadowed crags. The mustiness of the night smothers any form of warmth that may have existed and I feel the edged sharpness of a chill stagger its way down my chest and arms, rising goosebumps in its wake. The breath of your laugh and the mellow of your cheek against mine makes me start. You laugh at me. The shreds of water falling through the air and splashing into nothingness at our feet hover for a second as the world turns their attention to the heaviness of the moment. I feel everything, raw and acute as a solid bubble of fear and exalt wraps itself around us.
The blackened water spreads its teeth in a ripple of agitation and embraces me like and old friend. The coldness is exquisite in the strength of its bite.

:)

Because

Today I'm in a better mood.
Because today it snowed and we got sent home.
Because alice was annoyingly organised and gave me a christmas present.
Because i got some work done.
Because I like candles.
Because i've had too much coffee.
Because my room's tidy.
Because this time tomorrow, my ballet exam will be over.
Because there are danish pastries in the fridge.
Because i'm not tired.
Just because.