Fear is raw and tears are cold.

Blood runs cold.

Today i feel like I'm in a trance. Like my eyes have glazed iver and my legs just keep on moving. Wish i could concentrate. Going backwards on a train which i only have a vague idea where its headed. People are unreliable;they forget, make mistakes, and that includes myself. Adrenaline from the lights annd makeup of last nigth has left my muscles aching. just want to sleep but the world wont let me. Hundreds of people too wrapped up in their oen selfishness to bother to open their eyes, and i wish that everything wasn't so easy.

Sweet scented muggy air, blood rushes to your head.
Faces swim before your eyes, shoulders start to tense.
Voices blur and tears drop, wings beat feverishly
Your face is the only one i see. Always has been,
Maybe always will, who knows. The future
Is to expect the unexpected. I wish for once
I could close my eyes, and forget the past.
The future, and live only for the present.
Because you make my heart beat faster.

I'll go wherever you may go.

Im not fucking asking for special treatment. I'm not asking to be your favourite. I'm just asking to be treated the same as everyone else.
What does it take to make you stop staring at the blank wall behind me?
What do i have to do to prove myself?
Why am I never good enough for you?

...why do you hate me?

The world is inevitable.

If you fall the world will carry on without you. If you stumble there's never anyone going slow enough to pick you up. If you scream no one will hear you, and if you miss a single moment of happiness for past or future, regret won't be there to make you feel alive. Don't fall apart because the world will keep on turning. The rain is inevitable without you, but what if you're there to catch the raindrops?

For the first time in my life someone clicks. Someone really understands the fog of useless wanderings haemmorhaging my mind. And for the first time i don't feel alone. Don't have to pretend. Can be completely and utterly myself. I can run through the dark in the puring rain and scream, and know that someone understands the pulse of rocket fuel through veins and ateries, the blindness of freedom and the burning up of love. Someone is with me through that constant ache, the futile need to be better, to be stronger.

We're not different. We're still human. don't treat us like we're invalids, or dangerous.

Don't make this about you, like you always do. Don't make me a black silhouette on a greying background. We still have souls.

I can't look at you any other way. Don't feed me your bullshit; you've been swallowing mine for years.

My shaking fingers don't make me any different from you. The only thing between us is that I don't give up.

What is love?

Love is when someone leaves your life and punch a huge hole where they used to be, and you forget why you used to laugh.

What is love?

What is love? The question has been asked so many times that is worn and threadbare. But i stil can't help wondering. They say love is a drug. An addiction almost. Overpowering. I thought i loved once, sometimes i think i still do. They say youre supposed to know when youre in love. You just know. How? Why? When do you know? Does it creep up on you or hit you like a slap in the face? In many ways, love is very much like death. You have no idea what it's like until it's happened to you. Death can tiptoe slowly up behind you and squeeze its fingers gently around your heart and whisper to it that it can finally reest. Death can smash into you abruptly in blazing car headlights and the holler of blood clamouring past your ears. I suppose the only difference is that i can't wait to fall in death, love im not so much looking forward to :)